


Ruin My Life

by ThisMasterpieceIsOnlyMine



Series: And So It Goes [1]
Category: American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, No Magic AU, Theres a bit of comphet going on, im so sorry yall dont hate me, mentions of abuse, not graphic but its alluded to, oh god its just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 12:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18282506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisMasterpieceIsOnlyMine/pseuds/ThisMasterpieceIsOnlyMine
Summary: A mysterious young woman shows up on Cordelia Goode's doorstep one stormy night, and over the course of a few short months, changes her life forever.





	1. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cordelia wakes in the middle of the night, to find a mysterious and broken girl on her doorstep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Sammy, who talked me into finally posting this one, and Kristen, who puts up with me and my random, angst-filled ideas day in and day out. Love you gals. ♡

" _Cordelia_!" The headmistress just barely heard screamed from the base of the stairs outside of her bedroom as she was shaken from sleep, muffled by her shut bedroom door.

"W-what...?" Cordelia turned over in bed, checking the time on the screen of her phone. _4:35am_.

"Zoe, what the fuck---"

" _CORDELIA_!" Zoe, her teaching assistant yelled again. The young woman had offered to stay over the summer when they had an overwhelming amount of students boarding over the break, to help Cordelia with her summer workload and keeping track of the extra girls. She was quiet and smart, and already an excellent teacher; All of the students loved her.

"Cordelia, please, you have to come quick!" She appeared at the bedroom door then, flinging it open, "It's practically a monsoon outside and there was a girl on our porch, I had to let her in... She's soaked to the bone and looks... Really scared..." She sighed sadly, giving Cordelia a pleading look then before looking off into the distance.

At the desperate tone she heard in Zoe's words, Cordelia quickly got up out of bed and wrapped herself in a long black dressing gown, crossing her arms over her chest as she descended the academy stairs and rubbed sleep from her eyes, wanting to be able to deal with this stranger fully conscious.

Turning the corner into the living room, Cordelia's eyes fell on a tall, thin woman wrapped up in a towel and sitting by the fireplace.

Her hair, which she assumed was normally blonde, was darkened to a brown shade and hung in limp, wet waves around her shoulders; She held her knees up to her chest and shivered constantly, and Cordelia could see tear soaked, sky blue eyes reflecting the flames of the fire from where she stood in the doorway.

The mysterious girl finally felt the woman's presence behind her, jumping up from where she sat and pulling the towel tighter around herself, looking up apologetically at her.

"Hello..." Cordelia tried, as gently as she could.

"I-I'm sorry ma'am... It was just on an' I figured I'd dry up a lil sittin' next to it... I didn't wanna traipse water all over ya house." She spoke, and a thick Cajun accent dripped from her words. Cordelia approached the woman slowly, as she had started to see what Zoe was talking about. The soaked stranger was clearly frightened, unable to meet Cordelia's eyes as her gaze flitted anxiously all around the room.

"It's okay," Cordelia spoke softly and as soothingly as she could, "Please don't be frightened, you're safe here. You can sit on the couch if you'd like! It's probably much more comfortable than all those bricks, but you can still be close enough to the fire to stay warm! Here..." She offered her hand to the young woman, who took it hesitantly but held on as she guided her to the couch, feeling the taller blonde shaking underneath her touch.

"Would you like anything? Hot cocoa, tea? Something to eat? What's your name, sweetheart? Why... What brings you to us?" She asked gently, not wanting to scare the Cajun woman. The girl just smiled softly at her offerings, shaking her head at the options.

"No, it's okay. I couldn't put ya out like that at four in the mornin'. I... I'm Misty, ma'am. Misty Day. I... I don't mean to bother you. My... The man I was seein'... He was a drunk, ma'am. A drunk and a shit person..." Misty's voice quaked as she made the confession, tears filling her eyes as she lightly touched her fingertips to her ribs, looking down at them wistfully, "Tonight was the last straw, I had t' run... I ran as far as I could, but I didn't have enough money for a hotel. I saw your academy on the news in a restaurant the other week... So I came here. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinkin' just showing up here... An' I'm sorry for wakin' you, ma'am---"

"Please," Cordelia gently cut her apologies off, placing a light hand to her knee as she sat next to her, "Call me Cordelia. I'm Cordelia Fo--- Goode. Cordelia Goode, headmistress of Robichaux Academy. I'm glad you came here, you're no burden, I promise. Are you... Did he hurt you, Misty? Is there anything I can do?" Misty shook her head, smiling thankfully at the Headmistress for her kindness.

"You're too kind, Miss Cordelia. 'M okay, they're just bruises... They'll go away. 'S not the worst thing he ever did to me." She sighed softly, laying her hand over the older woman's on her knee. Cordelia wanted to ask more, wanted to get to know the woman sitting on her couch but she also couldn't bear the thought of scaring Misty, wanting her to feel safe and protected and able to stay within the academy's walls for as long as she needed.

"We... I... There are no empty single rooms here, Misty. But I'm _not_ letting you go back out into that storm, or back to that horrible man. You're more than welcome to... I have a king sized bed up in my room, it's far too large of a room for one person... I hardly fill it, you can stay with me until we figure something more permanent out for you. No charge. None of the girls here pay rent, they're only charged for their education, and since you're not a student..." She offered, unsure of why on _earth_ she had just thought to offer this _complete stranger_ a place in her bed.

But Misty was only young, probably not much older than Zoe, and she knew from experience just how broken the girl must have been feeling after everything she had been put through; It was safe to allow her that small intimacy, and Cordelia already felt such a strange connection to this girl, a magnetic pull unlike anything else she'd ever experienced. Beside all of that, the bed had been so cold since Hank had gone, and the pit of Cordelia's stomach warmed over at the thought of having someone next to her at night again, even if it was just a homeless stranger they would possibly only be housing temporarily.

"Miss Cordelia, I'd have to pay ya _somehow_." Misty protested, "Or I'm sure there's a motel close by that I could afford, I couldn't put ya out---..." She shook her head at Cordelia's too sweet offer, if she stayed she _had_ to pay her back somehow for her kindness, and if she was reading Cordelia correctly, her only choice was going to be staying at the academy, at least for a little while.

"Don't be ridiculous, Misty," Cordelia smiled, stroking her thumb across the curly haired girl's knee as she spoke, "I promise it's alright, the only payment I would need was knowing that you would be safe and happier here. If this place isn't a good fit for you, you can feel free to leave when you get back on your feet and know you'd be safe... But you're welcome to stay as long as you wish, as long as it takes for him to stop looking for you. I can't bear the thought of any woman roaming around town homeless, running the risk of being hurt by a nasty ex... I know what that's like." She admitted softly, speaking of Hank for the first time in months, since the divorce had been finalized. Misty looked up at her with a questioning look in her eyes but didn't ask anything further, which Cordelia was thankful for.

Slowly Cordelia stood from her seat next to Misty, replacing the now dried towel over her shoulders with a thick knitted blanket that hung on the back of the couch, and when their fingers collided as Misty reached up to hold onto it just as Cordelia was letting go, Cordelia gave a soft, reassuring squeeze to her jewellery-clad hands, desperate for Misty to know that she would be protected within her academy's walls.

"I think I'm going to go make some tea for myself, are you sure you don't want anything? You've got to be chilled to the bone, it'll warm you up." She tried, hoping Misty would at least accept a cup of tea, "It's no bother, I promise. Then I can take you upstairs and show you the room, and you can get some sleep? Does that sound okay?"

Misty nodded shyly, standing from the couch and following Cordelia into the kitchen, blanket still wrapped around her shoulders. Cordelia smiled softly at the sight, she was slowly growing more comfortable and she had entirely visibly relaxed in front of her, and Misty smiled back at her when she saw the look on her face.

"Whatcha lookin' at, Miss Cordelia?" Misty asked quietly, a teasing tone lacing the heavily accented question. This made Cordelia blush, shaking her head as she leaned over to unplug the electric kettle and moved to fill it up with water.

"Nothing, nothing," Cordelia promised, turning the kettle on and letting the water heat up, "Just happy to see you smiling. And you look... Comfortable, I'm glad. You can keep the blanket if you want, It's mine from upstairs anyway. There, these just need a few minutes... Would you like... Are you hungry?" She rephrased the question as it left her lips, knowing that if she asked it in an optional manner, Misty would decline again, and she just needed to know the girl was taken care of and eating.

Cordelia had no idea where this sudden rush of affection for the mysterious Misty had come from, but sitting with her in front of the fire, baring her soul to this broken stranger, she had felt a kind of safety and understanding she hadn't with another person in a long time. Misty finally nodded at the offer, pulling out two chairs at the kitchen table and sitting in one, pulling a leg up to her chest once again.

"Do you always sit like that?" Cordelia questioned her from her place at the counter, amused. Misty flushed at the callout, dropping her leg and flattening her skirt over her thighs. Cordelia only giggled softly, finally joining the new arrival at the table with two hot cups of tea and a plate of toasted bagels. "No, no, it's fine! Don't worry about it. It's just that both times I've seen you sitting, you've done it. I think it's cute!"

She giggled, making Misty blush deeper as she accepted her drink from the older woman. After adding a packet of sugar to her tea Misty raised the mug to her lips slowly, inhaling the sweet, spicy chai smell before she allowed the hot liquid between her lips, humming softly at the taste and the warmth of the beverage.

"Oh, most of the time I just don't even know I'm doin' it, I've done it since I was a munchkin!" She smiled, taking a hand from her mug and laying it across the table, bravely asking without words for Cordelia to take it in her own. She hesitated for just a moment before returning the innocent gesture, interlacing her fingers with Misty's.

"Do you need anything for your bagel? Butter, jam?" Cordelia offered, making Misty smile mid-bite. Cordelia had hardly known her for more than half an hour, and already she was taking better care of her than anyone else ever had in her young life. Gently Cordelia laid Misty's hand back down on the table, giving her another grin before making a move to stand.

"No please don't go!" She blurted suddenly, shocking herself and the woman across from her. In response Cordelia sat back down and gave her hand a prolonged, gentle squeeze, assuring her that she would stay. "I'm sorry, I just... Can we stay like this awhile? This... This is more peaceful than I've felt in a very long time. I just wanna drink it in for a little while, but I don't want to be alone. Is that okay? I don't wanna keep you up..."

"It's alright, I understand. Of course it's okay! Don't worry, we can sit for as long as you want. Would you maybe... Tell me about yourself? You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but it seems as though all I know about you right now is your name! Where are you from, how old are you?" Cordelia started, going easy on her with surface level questions. Misty grinned at the curious woman who still held onto her hand, tucking a stray curl behind her ear before she spoke.

"Well, I was born somewhere between here an' Lafayette, closer to that end of the state than here though... Grew up in a small Christian community, super devout kinda organization... Lookin' back at it now it was kinda cult-ish... I escaped when I was seventeen an' never looked back. Just felt like I didn't belong there. I was on my own for a couple years, found myself in a cottage at the edge of the swamps just outside New Orleans, when I started workin' in a coffee shop til I was about twenty. And then I met..." She trailed off, and Cordelia assumed the silence was filled internally by Misty's ex-lover's name, "But anyways, you asked my age. I'm twenty-four now, just had my birthday a little while back."

Misty had looked away from Cordelia at some point during her ramblings, but feeling a pattern of soft, slow circles being rubbed into the back of her hand, she looked back up to see Cordelia's thumb was the cause of the soothing touch, her chocolate eyes gazing at her with a mix of sympathy and wonder.

"You are amazing, Misty Day," Cordelia spoke softly and almost fearfully, not wanting to push too far, "You've been through so much. Too much for a woman your age, of any age really. I know I don't know you that well, but I can feel it. I've always been pretty good at reading people, their energy... You radiate so much light despite all of the terrible things you've experienced... That's special."

"Thank you, ma'am..." Misty responded, giggling as she remembered Cordelia's protests to the title, "Sorry, sorry! Just used to it... I was always raised on callin' strangers sir or ma'am, I'll try an' stop! And I try... I try to look at the bright side of everythin', to believe that God gives us everything we experience for a reason... But it's kinda hard to keep the faith in that when you got a drunk, violent boyfriend beatin' on ya every couple days..." She chuckled sadly at an unspoken memory, which only broke Cordelia's heart and made her squeeze Misty's hand just a little tighter.

"It's okay... Hey, you're finished all your food. Why don't we head up for a few hours? It's Sunday, the staff all take the weekends off and the students don't start again until Tuesday, no one will be around to bother you. You look exhausted, darling."

* * *

Moments later Misty found herself perched awkwardly on one side of Cordelia's four poster king bed, knees curled up to her chest and sitting against the headboard as she waited for her to finish in the bathroom, afraid of making one wrong move and having the woman kick her out just as fast as she'd been accepted in, and the thought of the feelings she had started to feel made her incredibly anxious.

Down in the kitchen, Cordelia had called her darling as she held her hand and looked at her in _that_ way, her chocolate eyes sparkling as they looked Misty over a thousand times; And Misty couldn't lie, the shy smiles and the playful expression in her gorgeous eyes made her heart flutter a little; Feeling safer and more hopeful, _happier_ here than she had anywhere else in months. Cordelia was drop dead gorgeous, too, with her long, golden blonde hair and kind smile.

 _And a beautiful figure to boot_ , Misty thought to herself shamefully, shaking the thought from her head as soon as it entered. Her mother had always spoken so heatedly against homosexuality, putting the fear of God in Misty at even the slightest mention of it. She had slowly started to grow out of it, having been exposed to all types of people when she worked in the coffee shop and learning that maybe it wasn't _so_ bad. But still she refused to admit to any feelings of her own she had like that, knowing that the universe, or the community she had come from, would find a way to come for her if she ever publicly revealed the way her heart fluttered around certain women.

The way it was doing now, watching Cordelia remove her silky black robe across the room and hanging it up, leaving her in a thin black tank top and matching silk pants.

 _No. No no no no no... Misty, you idiot, you_ just _met her... You just left... You're fragile and just being needy_ , She berated herself, desperate to stop the floodgates of emotion and attraction from opening before the woman in question climbed into bed next to her, _You're just confused, you don't want her like that... You can't. You're not_ gay _, Misty._

She silently begged her heart to start beating normally again, her body freezing as Cordelia arrived at her side of the bed, climbing in under the sheets and helping the younger do the same, giving her a concerned look at the stiff, almost robotic quality of her movements.

"Misty, it's okay. You can lay down, sweetheart. Don't be afraid... You're safe." Cordelia cooed, reaching up to run her fingers lightly over golden curls, hoping it comforted the woman next to her. Sighing softly, Misty finally gave in to the movement and the woman's comforting words, shifting over so her back was to Cordelia's, her breathing shaky as she felt Cordelia move ever so slightly closer to her, resting a gentle hand on her back.

"Sleep well, Misty." She murmured into the base of her neck, the feeling of her breath on her skin, along with the sound of her voice, deepened and husky with sleep coming over her quickly, sending shivers down her spine. "I'm so glad I found you."

At the older woman's final words, Misty couldn't take the build-up of feelings inside her anymore and turned over to face Cordelia, gazing into her gorgeous eyes for just a split second before the electricity between them became an explosion.

_Oh, fuck it._

Misty bravely made the first move, her hands nervously clutching Cordelia's face as she brought their lips together, kissing her greedily and full of fire. The other woman responded instantly and just as eagerly, a quiet moan disappearing into Misty's lips as she reciprocated the her passionate advances, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other hand tangling into the golden waves at the nape of her neck, tugging her closer.

"Sleep? What's sleep?" Misty giggled, removing her lips from Cordelia's to bravely start trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, pausing every so often to make sure she was okay with every advancement. Cordelia simply nodded or mumbled incoherently at each movement Misty made, a soft hum leaving her lips after every few kisses or nips that were left along her skin, the sensual sounds lighting a fire in the pit of Misty's stomach.

Soon enough though, Misty felt herself get gently pushed off of Cordelia, an apologetic look in her darkened eyes as she continued to trace circular patterns up and down that gorgeous dip in her hips, underneath her borrowed t-shirt.

"Cordelia, did I---? I'm sorry, did I do somethin' wrong?"

"No, no," She smiled sweetly, pressing another slow kiss to Misty's tempting lips, "You didn't do anything wrong. I just want to be sure... You've just been through something traumatic, only a few hours ago. I just want to be certain that this is what you want, that you're ready."

"I know what I been through, Miss Cordelia. I know what I want, too... It's this. This is what I want. I can't explain it, I'm bad with my words as it is but I just feel so safe with you, so ready to feel the way all this is _supposed_ to make me feel... I want this... I want _you_. Please." Misty pleaded softly, pulling Cordelia closer by her hips. Cordelia nodded once again at her words, drawing Misty close and kissing her again, more passionately and recklessly than before.

Things moved quickly between the two almost-strangers, and before Cordelia fully realized what was happening she was underneath Misty a few minutes later, moaning and writhing as Misty's unbelievable fingers granted her body wave after wave of incredible, mind-numbing release.

"Oh, _fuck_...!" She finally cried out, the swear muffled where she'd pressed her face into Misty's neck, kissing and nipping along the already marked skin to help ease herself through the last of the four earth-shatteringly intense orgasms the mysterious woman had given her that night, her hands gripping tightly at the girl's shoulders, sure to leave their mark in the morning.

"God, Misty, I... You're a dream. This is a dream. I've never... No one's ever made me come like that before... My asshat of an ex-husband certainly couldn't." She laughed breathlessly, turning onto her side to draw Misty into her arms, dropping a round of soft kisses on her wild waves. Misty simply giggled at the praise, teasingly dancing her fingertips around the headmistress's naked breasts, not intending to drive her wild but knowing it did anyway, judging by the sound of her labored breath so close to her ear and the feeling of her chest rapidly rising and falling.

"You sure are sweet, Miss Cordelia... This ain't no dream, darlin'. You really did just come four times in ten minutes." She teased, pulling her in for more kisses and losing her breath as Cordelia suddenly flipped them, hovering over her with a sly smile on her face.

"Well then, Misty Day... I think it's time I return the favor, what d'you think?"


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cordelia makes a confession, and her life changes forever.

The two women continued their intimate and unspoken arrangement for the following six months, right through Thanksgiving and past Christmas, into the New Year.  
  
They were best friends, that much was obvious to them both, the academy staff, students, and the outside world. They trusted and adored each other in such pure, innocent ways, and they'd grown close quickly, having shared multitudes of intimate details about their lives within hours and days of meeting for the first time, and were healing each other from their shared horrible pasts in ways that neither ever thought was possible. What they tried to keep secret from the academy and the outside world, though, was that the second their bedroom door closed behind them each and every night, they became insatiable lovers. Cordelia found herself addicted to Misty's infectious, beautiful and kind soul and the way the young, wild woman made love to her every night, her name tumbling from Cordelia's lips like a prayer as Misty brought her the sweetest release night after night for months on end, something she never thought she would ever have the pleasure of experiencing.  
  
They had never officially put a title on what they had, and Cordelia assumed it was another unspoken rule between them to take things slow out of respect for the other's healing process, but every time the she offered to take her out for dinner Misty accepted; Kisses in greeting in the morning and at night, even if they knew they'd still be by each other's side were frequent; They held hands idly while making breakfast for themselves in the kitchen each morning; And casual movie nights snuggled in bed, while Cordelia graded papers and Misty laid curled up on her chest as she ran her free hand soothingly through her golden curls, among other innocent, snuggly activities, became a regular occurrence when the school year was back in session. They'd never spoken those three little words, but Cordelia knew that what she felt with Misty was a real, perfect, irreplaceable love, and Misty was so, so much more than just a woman who kept her bed warm at night. They were in every sense of the word, seldom for speaking it aloud and making it official, in a relationship.  
  
Cordelia had just slid the last of her students biology midterm exams into the drawer on her nightstand with one arm cradling her lover close to her body as she drifted in and out of sleep, when she was hit with the overwhelming urge to finally speak the words; Feeling utterly, madly in love with the unbelievably perfect girl who rested on her chest, for once too tired to bring her lover to that inexplicably glorious high that night after an exhausting day in the garden and greenhouse, with a group of students who had taken a particularly strong liking to their headmistress's beloved new roommate and _friend_.  
  
Though she was quirky and had such a carefree, unique personality, all of the students came to love and respect interesting, sweet Misty as much as they did Cordelia when they had met her, knowing that if they ever crossed the kindhearted, quirky Cajun Cordelia would have their heads for it.  
  
"...Misty?" Cordelia brought herself to speak finally, the name tumbling from her lips shakily, and quieter than it typically did when they were in bed together. Misty raised her head from her lover's chest just slightly and for just a moment, a sleepy "Hmnhmn..." sound of acknowledgement leaving her lips before she laid her head back down, her own heart beginning to race as she felt Cordelia's pick up against her ear.  
  
Misty had known it was coming. That she couldn't possibly have stayed at the academy forever, and whatever it was that was making Cordelia's voice tremble and her heart pound like that, was definitely something to do with their little passion-filled, unspoken bond. It was either Cordelia had met someone, or she had overstayed her welcome and needed to find a place of her own now that the students had returned; Or it was too risky for them to continue having sex under the same roof as her students and her elderly aunt, who had just moved in after returning home to New Orleans from Paris, or---  
  
"I love you."  
  
Misty instantly felt like she was drowning as the three quiet words washed over her, making her heart race wildly and wetness burn her half-closed eyes. _That_ wasn't what she had expected.  
  
Cordelia _couldn't_ love her.  
  
_She_ couldn't love _Cordelia_. It wasn't like that, what they did between the sheets wasn't love, it wasn't a relationship... It wasn't _gay_ , Misty tried to convince herself. She wasn't in love with Cordelia, they were just two broken people with the need for human contact, and they'd given each other just that and nothing more. They were _friends_ , not lovers.  
  
Or so she had thought.  
  
If the community she grew up in ever found out, and God knows they would somehow (they always did, she had seen it happen far too many times), Misty knew she would be killed--- Or worse, they would come for Cordelia--- When they discovered what she had done, found out the details of the sin they had committed.  
  
Her mother had placed the fear of God in her when she was young, whispering to her as they passed a pair of women kissing on the sidewalk in town one day when she was eight years old, that they would get what was coming to them someday for disobeying God's word. That those two women who were so innocently expressing their love for each other, who Misty knew now as an adult had done nothing wrong, would be hurt and tortured and all sorts of other terrible things an eight year old should never hear coming from their mother, just for loving who they wanted to love.  
  
Tears stung her eyes as she kept thinking back on all of the terrible things she had heard from her parents and the preacher about the apparent sin, about what would happen to her and how scary life would be if she went against God's will and 'turned out that way'. And as much as she knew as an adult that she had done nothing wrong, the childlike fear and anxiety she had felt every time her heart so much as beat a little faster around a woman was back and amplified a million times stronger than it had ever been, blossoming into a full blown panic attack.  
  
Now Cordelia was _in love with her_ , and wanted to make their relationship official. And Misty just _couldn't_. Not with what danger it could put them in if the wrong person found out, not after all of the pain relationships before had caused her. Even though Misty's common sense tried to tell her that Cordelia would never hurt her, that being with her would never cause her that same amount of pain she had felt before from lovers gone wrong (it certainly hadn't thus far), still her anxiety was louder than the rational thoughts and convinced her that she had to put a stop to this. She couldn't bear to lead Cordelia on for a second longer, not when heartbreak was inevitable for both sides.  
  
She had to go. She had to _run_.  
  
But for the moment Misty shut her mouth and stilled her body against Cordelia's, feigning sleep as best as she could but wanting so badly to cry--- no, _sob_ \--- as Cordelia said her name again, softer and more desperate this time as Misty felt tears rapidly falling onto her hand where it rested on Cordelia's chest; knowing that she could hear the declaration and silently begging her to say the terrifyingly honest words back.  
  
" _Misty_..."  


* * *

  
When Cordelia woke the next morning, her bed was cold.  
  
And empty.  
  
And the room was still.  
  
Misty was nowhere to be found in the master suite, and when Cordelia sat up to focus on looking around for her lover, she noticed the room bare of all of her belongings. The hangers that had once held her seemingly endless collection of Stevie Nicks inspired shawls and dresses were now empty and placed haphazardly back in the closet, her backpack was gone from its place on the chair across the room, and her beloved, beat up combat boots were nowhere to be seen.  
  
She had bolted. Cordelia's confession had frightened her, and now she was gone. No number left behind, not a trace of her anywhere in the room that she had so easily inhabited and made herself so comfortable in. She hadn't even said goodbye. Cordelia assumed there was no letter or note left behind anywhere else in the house, otherwise Zoe would have seen it first, as she always woke up earlier than she, and noticing something out of place would have brought it to Cordelia instantly.  
  
"Misty?!" She called desperately, knowing somewhere in her heart that she wouldn't get an answer, but still she had to try. " _MISTY_?!" She tried again, louder, and this time the tears came steadily as the woman's name was shouted from her lips and not caring who heard, uncontrollable sobs wracking her body as she realized the woman she had fallen in love with over those six months they'd spent together didn't feel the same, didn't want to love her back, and had left her in the middle of the night without a word. Abandoned her, just like everybody else before her had.  
  
Her cries subsiding just enough to pay more attention to the world around her, Cordelia could hear footsteps quickly approaching her door, and her heart quickly betrayed her and leapt into her throat hopefully. But when she looked up again it was only Zoe, who looked shocked to not only see Cordelia's bedroom door wide open so early in the morning, but the headmistress herself alone and sobbing hysterically in her bed.  
  
"Cordelia..." She sighed, cautiously stepping forward into the room until she was sure Cordelia wouldn't protest, finally closing the distance between herself and the bed; Sitting at the edge of it and wrapping her employer, but also her friend and mentor, in the warmest, most comforting hug that she could. "I'm so sorry, Cordelia... I know how much you loved her. We all knew."  
  
"So she's not...?" Cordelia asked in a broken whisper, the last glimmer of hope she'd had that Misty had changed her mind and was waiting downstairs extinguishing at Zoe's sweetly sympathetic words. "She was using me, Zoe... I thought... But she just wanted... I was so _stupid_... She didn't want _me_..." She sobbed sadly, her anxiety and heartache flaring as she buried her face in Zoe's shoulder, thoughts swirling around her head with all of the ways she hadn't been good enough for Misty to want to stay, or to fall in love with.  
  
Zoe wrapped her arms around Cordelia just a little tighter at the broken, sad state she was in, wanting to comfort her mentor as best as she could from this inexplicably painful heartbreak. "No, Cordelia, she's not... I'm so sorry. You're not stupid! I'm as shocked as you are, she was always so sweet to you, to everybody, and it really seemed like this had become her home. Nobody could have seen this coming. Did she... Did something happen, Cordelia?"  
  
"Told her I loved her..." She sighed, shuddering with a dry sob, "Last night. She was sleeping on my chest and looked so beautiful and peaceful and _perfect_... And I couldn't hold off any longer, Zoe. I love... _Loved_ her. I'll probably love her forever... She changed everything. I never thought after Hank that I was even worth loving anymore, that he'd broken me beyond repair. But she fixed me... She fixed me and then broke me all over again." That was the final straw, the realization that she'd pushed away the one person who had changed everything and made her _feel_ something again hit Cordelia like a train, falling back into violent sobs against her most trusted staff member and confidante.  
  
"You're gonna be okay, Cordelia," Zoe swore, attempting to soothe her, "You'll show her, I promise. You'll be okay without her, you don't need another person to prove how wonderful you are... This will all be okay... You'll be okay." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY, Y'ALL. 
> 
> Part two of this series will begin tomorrow! Your comments and thoughts are greatly appreciated! ♡


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